Leda

They told me I wasn't thinking straight.

Ever day I wake up. I wash my face and brush my teeth. I remind myself that I am strong. I break down.  I am not strong.

Every day I wake up.  I wash parts of me I don't look at. I don't look in the mirror. I remind myself that I am beautiful. I am not beautiful. I eat a bowl of corn flakes. Every morning I eat the same bowl of corn flakes because I can't eat anything else because if I do things will happen and I won't be in control of them.

I wash my face and brush my teeth after I eat my corn flakes because I remind myself I am beautiful and strong and my therapist says and my parents say and I am not beautiful or strong. Every day I wake up again.

The grass in the park is green. I don't live where it snows so the grass is always green. Some days it rains and I go to the park and sit in the rain and feel safe because I know that it doesn't rain on days when bad things happen and so this will be a good day.

The bench in the park is not safe. I am not safe there. Why do I sit there? Why do I wait on days when it doesn't rain and the grass is green and the sun is shining and I am not safe?

Every day the parts of me that I cannot look at are dirty so I clean them. Or I wash them. They cannot get clean. The grass is green there in the park.

Every day I wake up. I eat a bowl of corn flakes. I walk to the park. My therapist says and my parents say and I am not beautiful or strong so I walk to the park.  If it rains I am safe, but it doesn't rain so I wait on the bench where I am not safe and I watch for swans and I wonder why?

I am not thinking straight. I remind myself I am not thinking straight. Swans are everywhere.

Magellanic

"Do you know how many humans it would take to circle the globe in a giant train with everyone fucking everyone else?"

"Where did you hear this statistic?"

"Just guess."

"I give up."

"More than are currently in this room."

"Hey..."

"But we can be the starting point and hope some others show up."

"That explains the giant black double dil you're currently..."

"Shut up, stupid. I never said anything about talking while we try to set a record."

"Oh fuck yeah!"

"You like that, don't you?"

"If you get it any deeper, you might go around the globe, you sexy..."

"Hush. Relax and let the circumnavigation happen."

"CirCUMnavi... oh fuck, oh fuck, oh baby yes fuck fuck fuck..."

Painful Haiku

little white lie stains
on my otherwise sin-free
marriage bed duvet

Ghosts

His hand on my cock woke me like a joy buzzer to the nuts. He wasn't a delicate flower, that's for sure.

"Want to go again before I have to leave?"

The buzz from the club had worn off and I could see him for what he was now: tired, middle-aged, and oh look, there was the tan line on the left ring finger that the experienced adulterer would know how to hide. "Honey, don't you have someone waiting at home for you?"

I was expecting evasion or rejection. I hadn't expected tears. "Damn it," he choked, rubbing his eyes.  "All I wanted was a nice night, just to forget about him for an evening. I know he said he wanted me to, but... fuck, I'm sorry, I'll go."

"Sweetie, it's okay." I felt like a tool, which was odd because he'd forgotten to take that left hand, the one I'd totally misread, off my tool. Something about warm hands and cocks makes it very hard to soften, even if you're staring at a crying man.  "I'm sorry.  I thought I was winding up as someone's little bit on the side, and God knows I've done that dance.  I should have kept my mouth shut."

"No, it's my fault," he sobbed. "What were you supposed to think? I'm not exactly a prize.."

"Shut up," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.  "I wasn't that drunk last night."

"It took me so long to go out after he passed." He suddenly got a scared look.  "Not from AIDS or anything.  I'm clean."

I'll admit I had been just a little concerned.  I tried to hide my sigh of relief.

"We went to Massachusetts the day they legalized.  He was so happy he lived long enough. And now I'm fucking a stranger from the club... I'm sorry." He sobbed silently again.

What was I going to do? "Brian." I said. "Tell him my name is Brian when you go visit him next. I'm sure he'll understand." God help me, I raised his chin with my finger so I could kiss him, tears and all, like I was some sort of rom-com hero.  "After all, a guy's got to get off sometimes, am I right?"  I might have winked, and I might have twitched the hard-on that was still clasped in his hand like a life preserver keeping his head above water.

I'm a selfish man, but when his cock was in my ass again, slowly stroking in and out, making my own cock tingle a little with each thrust, I hoped somewhere a ghost was getting off watching us.

Ewer

He was first, of course; I couldn't have stopped him if I'd wanted to. Then Jacob, next door neighbor and our longest friend. After that someone I didn't know. The line stretched out the door. Maybe he advertized.

"Happy Anniversary!" the ones I could hear cheered. No hesitation. Jacob even threw protocol to the winds and slapped my husband on the back as he moved closer. Hank just grinned.

"Your sister's out there warming them up," he said to me, and I was just sorry I couldn't see Sam on her knees with all those cocks in her mouth.

"What, so all I get are the finishes?" I wanted a good time, even like this.

"Of course not," Hank soothed as he rubbed his bulbous head over my clit, making me shiver in spite of my position. "You want to get more than one out of us, don't you?"

"Oh." That was partially satisfaction at the thought and partially an involuntary exhale as Hank's manhood slipped into my dripping passage, warm and sure and welcome there. I had had a few nervous second thoughts when he took off the blindfold, but having him first was a comfort.

He didn't waste time though, knowing what I wanted. Soon enough I felt him tense and the white gold I craved shot out of him into me.

The seal around my warm lips kept every drop inside. The panties were a special design, form and function, vinyl so I was still totally exposed, but with a sphincter over my vagina and a clamp that held me open. I was positioned just so, my legs held in place by stirrups, my pelvis tilted toward the ceiling so that no precious drop of these men's juices would be wasted.

"Quite a get-up," joked Jacob as he took my husband's place. "Now Hank tells me one and done, but you know I'm here for more than that, darlin'." I grinned; Jacob was an old friend for a reason.

"Just make sure you don't spill any," I gasped as he thrust.